Golf Jokes I

Golf can best be defined as an endless series of

tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle,

followed by a good bottle of beer.

Golf! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing

left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins.

And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks.

If you find you do not mind playing golf in the rain,

the snow, even during a hurricane, here’s a valuable

tip: your life is in trouble.

Golfers who try to make everything perfect before

taking the shot, rarely make a perfect shot.

The term ‘mulligan’ is really a contraction of the

phrase ‘maul it again.’

A ‘gimme’ can best be defined as an agreement

between two golfers …neither of whom

can putt very well.

An interesting thing about golf is that no matter

how badly you play; it is always possible to get worse.

Golf’s a hard game to figure. One day you’ll go out

and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and

miss every green. The next day you go out, and

for no reason at all, you really stink.

If your best shots are the practice swing and

the ‘gimme putt’, you might wish to reconsider

this game.

Golf is the only sport where the most feared

opponent is you.

Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too

seriously it won’t work, and both are expensive.

The best wood in most amateurs’ bags is the pencil.

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