A Washington Post’s Mensa

Here are the winners of the Washington Post’s Mensa
Invitational , which once again asked readers to take
any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding,
subtracting, or changing one letter, and supplying a
new definition.

The 2006 winners are:

1. Cash-tration (n.): The act of buying (or building) a
house, which renders the subject financially impotent
for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignor-anus: A person who’s both stupid and an ass hole.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund,
which lasts until you realize that it was your money to start with.

4. Rein-tarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid
people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The
bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of
breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself
for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sar-chasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic
wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you
are running late.

10. Hip-atitis: Terminal coolness.

11. Osteo-pornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one
got extra credit.)

12. Karma-geddon: It’s when everybody is sending off
all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth
explodes and it’s a serious bummer.

13. Decafalon: (n.): The grueling event of getting
through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

14. Glibido: All talk and no action.

15. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to
seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

16. Arachno-leptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance
performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito,
that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

18. Cater-pallor (n.): The color you turn after finding
half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.

Contributed by Terry

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